As per usual, the judge’s feedback for this round was pretty fantastic! I got a lot of ideas for what to change and fix and to think about when writing more. It makes my heart happy that so many people love the setting specifically because basically I'm just writing about my cats. I think they're hilarious and fascinating and I enjoy that people might feel that way, too.
WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY
Judge {2128}
I love the protagonist here -- it's refreshing with an air of playfulness and levity that works wonderfully.
Grimalkin's hunt has a good balance of exposition and action. The introduction of Brother Charles, their comraderie, and shared mission was a nice touch.
Judge {1751}
Of course, I loved the idea of mixing ghost story with child fiction. Grimalkin and Brother Charles were both charming characters with a lot of personality, though they were nonhuman. Oh, and I love the way you described how Grimalkin moved. Great job.
Judge {1795}
This is a wonderful ghost story. Anyone who has had a cat will find this story very interesting. Cats always seem to jump around at things that aren't there...but what if it was ghosts looking to accost the living!? Wonderfully imaginative!
I love the way that Grimalkin addresses things and people. "New Home", "human Mother", "Brother Charles" and so on. It's nice to see this difference between cats and humans; not placing too much humanity on the cats.
WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK
Judge {2128}
I wondered about "New Home" and the reason for that detail's inclusion, especially with the added phrase, "Wanderers did appear occasionally." How long have they been in this home?
If the specter is following Mother, is it haunting her? I also wondered about the difference between hauntings and Wanderers.
Judge {1751}
So is the Specter trying to hurt or bother mother? If not, why does Grimalkin feel the need to hurt the specter? Or is it simply an instinct that he must obey? Perhaps this is worth exploring or clarifying in any way. If you need to delete any words do to this, I would consider deleting "a moment, and" "Other animals don't leave ghosts, but" "older" "in the day". I wonder if you can address this, but that's only a suggestion.
Judge {1795}
I'm wondering if there is any merit in giving the reader a glimpse into what it is that the human Mother thinks of Grimalkin jumping around. People often chastise their cats for being nutty or just seemingly jumping around overly hyper. This would add an element of reality to the piece for the reader, realizing that they do the same thing, not thinking that maybe their cats are defending them.